Fear of Comment-ment.

L.S. Engler

⋆

May 12

⋆

2–3 minutes

✸

Lately, I’ve been trying to comment on more of the gazillion blogs I follow, not just because I’ve made it one of my habits on Habit RPG (and thus get more points for each comment), but also because it’s just a good way to establish those relationships that help build me into a better blogger and a stronger brand. And people love comments. I love comments, I know many people who label their comment sections with a declaration of how much they love comments, too. I’ve been doing this enough that sometimes I don’t even think twice about commenting, it’s just the right thing to do.

But other times? I thought I had been free from it, but, the other day, I had that little niggling feeling in the back of my head that was reluctant to comment, because of the ridiculous worry that I might actually be annoying someone with my comments. This tends to happen the most when the blogger is someone who already has a long list of comments and adoring followers, or it’s a “bigger” blogger name that I look up to, or I find myself frequently commenting on their blog, even though I don’t really know them outside of the fact that I follow them. Weird, isn’t it, that here we would be on this platform that basically exists to interact with other people, only to then have this complex about the actual interactions.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this. I’m pretty sure some of you might be reading this and thinking I’m mildly crazy, because what are blogs for if not to respond and interact with readers, while some of you are bobbing your heads in complete agreement, yet not commenting because you, too, feel you don’t have anything ‘significant’ to add to the conversation. I’m fairly certain there are very few people sitting there complaining about the comments they got on their blog. Yet, I can’t help feel that worry creep in every once in a while, preventing me from pushing send, even after the comment is written. From here on in, I’m going to try to overcome that doubt and push send anyway.

12 responses to “Fear of Comment-ment.”

Sparkonit

May 12, 2014 at 8:44 am

Commenting is a great way to establish an audience. Unfortunately, I don’t comment often on other blogs, and I do have a hard time making an audience because of that.

Reply
1. L.S. Engler
  
  May 12, 2014 at 9:27 am
  
  Commenting on other blogs can be a good way for other people to discover you, too. At least, I can’t be the only person in the world who randomly visits people from other blogs and starts following them…
  
  Reply
Elizabeth Anne Mitchell

May 12, 2014 at 8:59 am

Yes, I am absolutely like that. Being a sponsor on ROW80 helps a teeny bit, but only with the participants. With the “big names,” I get all “I’m not important/smart/whatever enough that they care what I think.” It’s also very hard with the people who don’t respond, or only respond to a few people here and there–I still respond to every comment, although lately it has taken me weeks *blush*.

Reply
1. L.S. Engler
  
  May 12, 2014 at 9:26 am
  
  Haha, the “big names” are the worst! Part of you tries to tell yourself that these people are really just like you, but then you’re like, “Nuh-uh, because people actually know who this person is and you’re just a little flailing whelp!” I try to get over that and remind myself, “Hey. This person is posting a blog and there’s a comment section, and if they don’t want you commenting, then they can just DEAL WITH IT. INTERNET.”
  
  I’ve tried to always comment back, but sometimes it can be hard when people don’t really say much where all I can comment with is “Thank you!” or “I agree!” So I try not to stress about it. Sometimes things just fall through the cracks, too.
  
  Reply
Harliqueen

May 12, 2014 at 11:05 am

Commenting is something I love, receiving and giving 😀

I comment on a lot of blogs, and often on the same blogs quite a bit. I don’t think it would ever annoy a blogger, I think it would make them feel good with every comment they get, even if they get a lot! At least, that’s what I’m thinking 🙂

Reply
1. L.S. Engler
  
  May 12, 2014 at 11:55 am
  
  Haha, yeah, that’s probably how most people see it, but I have weird paranoia about some things.
  
  Reply
Fallon

May 12, 2014 at 11:29 am

You are certainly not alone. I have a hard time commenting. I don’t know exactly why. Sometimes I think I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing/it will be taken the wrong way. At times, it’s taken me up to half an hour just to write up a comment. I do like to get comments(otherwise it feels like I’m talking to myself, which I do enough of anyway), so I try to reciprocate on others’ blogs, but I don’t always know what to say. I do at least try to reply to most of the comments left on my blog. I haven’t always been good about that, but I’m getting better.

Reply
1. L.S. Engler
  
  May 12, 2014 at 11:57 am
  
  Or that they’ll read it and all they could think is, “WHAT in the world is this person even TALKING about?” Curse this unending fear of disapproval! You’d think a writer would be able to have a thicker skin since they’re constantly putting their work out there into the world where it may be harshly judge, but alas.
  
  Reply
Lauralynn Elliott

May 12, 2014 at 2:18 pm

You would not believe how many times I start a comment on a blog, and then I keep changing it because I’m afraid someone will take it the wrong way. Sometimes, I even delete it altogether after I’ve written the comment, fearing what people might think.

One thing that DOES bother me a lot. When you comment on someone’s blog and they don’t take the time to answer you. It makes me feel like they think my comment is unimportant. I even have friends that don’t answer me on their blogs. It makes me not want to comment on theirs at all.

Reply
1. L.S. Engler
  
  May 12, 2014 at 4:33 pm
  
  There are many deleted comments-that-could-have-been out there from me, too. Oh, yes. Sooooo many…
  
  I know a lot of times, comments go unanswered from me because I either feel I have nothing more to say, or they just get lost in my emails because I’m such a scatterbrain. I’ve been getting a lot, lot better, though!
  
  Reply
Grace

May 14, 2014 at 9:44 pm

I do the same thing. I think it’s my introversion and/or social anxiety from real life crossing over into the blogosphere, even though I know as a blogger myself that everyone loves comments and how much it means to us that real people (not spambots and/or pornstars from China) are reading what we write.

Reply
Monday Mentions: Comments, Breaks, and vIctory | fallonbrownwrites

May 19, 2014 at 4:14 pm

[…] found a few good posts around this week. First is this one from L.S. Engler on Fear of “Comment-ment”. This is something I suffer from as well. I’ve been getting better, but it’s still […]

Reply